I like to think I'm a fairly good writer; some have even told me I'm one of the fairly greatest modern writers they've ever read.
But for all of my near-superhuman literary prowess and the bone-jarring range of subjects with which I am familiar, there are still some areas I cannot speak about with any confidence.
Sure, I could probably make up something and blind you to the inconsistencies through the sheer beauty of my language, but I prefer to be truthful. I prefer to take the high road; therefore, below I have listed twenty-five books I could not write.
The only twenty-five.
The History of Jazz
Let's Talk Tariffs
F-16 Repair for the Home Enthusiast
Advanced Knife-Fighting Techniques
Raising Pandas for Profit
North Korea by Night
So You've Sewn Your Knees Together
The Fast Lane to Speaking Dutch
Explaining Your Genitals to a Train Conductor
I've Got Peas, You've Got Chocolate: Cooking in Pairs
Fourth Declension Latin Nouns Are All About U!
Camel Racing Handicaps
What To Look For in a Kevlar Vest
Throw Your Own Benefit Concert
Moscow on Acid: Let's Go!
A Newborn's Guide to Playing Along
The Complete Encyclopedia of English Eccentrics with Full Heads of Hair
Compendium of Somali Wit and Humor
Turning a Profit in Seafood
Breaking Wind at a Funeral
I've Never Seen Eyebrows Like That