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Zoey Gets Groomed, or, Pooping with a Soccer Ball




You might not know it by looking at him, but Zoey can get stinky. Inside and out. He's a great friend and 24 hours of intensity, but he can work up a good smell. So we took him down to the vet for a grooming and, oh yes, the anal gland expression.

He comes back smelling fresh, lovely and wearing a Paul Lynde scarf. He was pretty fired up about getting back home and testing out those newly emptied glands.

I should mention one thing about Zoey, which may be common in some ways to other dogs but I think Zoey takes it to the limit. He loves toys. More than anything in this world, he wants his toys.

You could run over him and leave him for dead, see him out in the street. But just yell out there, "Zoey get your rope!" and he would spring to life like a hairy Lazarus.

Also, for Zoey, everything is a rope. A ball, a stick, no matter; it's "rope". The rope is indeed Zoey's favorite for he likes nothing more than to give you the impression he's going to actually let you touch his toys and play with him. No no no. You do not get to "play" with Zoey, you may only experience his toy-rage.

He doesn't direct any anger toward you, but he's mad as hell he doesn't have that rope. You could easily dislocate a shoulder playing tug-of-war with him. The other dogs don't really give it their all, either, when it comes to tug with Zoey. It's almost futile; but fun to watch.

So anyway, Zoey gets back, looks all suave and poses for his picture. Then it's off to the back yard for some ragin'. I've got an old soccer ball out there he loves to parade around with.

This lasts for a pretty good while, him just running around, teasing me. He'll drop it for a second if he thinks I'm not looking at him. Then I come to kick it and he is on me like something that gets on something else really fast. I'm impressed if the ball travels more than three feet before he snatches it up.

He hasn't destroyed this ball like most other toys he encounters. He does compress the hell out of it and put a good amount of tooth marks on it, but I think this is his show toy; the one he takes pride in.

After all that running, nature has placed its call to Zoey and the line is quite free. Rather than let me have the ball in his moment of weakness, Zoey does his deed in a manner befitting a Navy SEAL. I'm not shocked by it, since who doesn't like having something else to do while in the bathroom, but I am amazed how he kept it held the entire time. That's some serious muscle control in a number of ways.

Needless to say, the neighbor dog was in awe.

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